On the Sunday, I pulled this card oblivious to how differently at the end of the week I would feel because I remember pulling this card at a point, where I felt so fed up with life and myself, it wasn't that I felt depressed as I have had a past with depression but I felt like I was missing out on being something bigger than what I am, I love to sing but leading up to receiving this card, I hated how my voice sounded and it would irritated me enough to want to give up, and the feelings were strong enough I could have packed in on wanting to sing altogether. But I didn't. I also hit a brick wall with my spirituality because I didn't feel special enough in anyway, I felt like a clown for believing in anything because to be realistic you have to be pessimistic and I felt like I had my heads in the clouds and that I needed to, 'humble,' myself because I am not sensational. and if I wasn't sensational then why be anything? It led me to rethink my whole devotion I had for spirituality, because some people get told they are gods gift an others not necessarily, or even so, I felt there were others who had more remarkable past lives, and that meant they had more remarkable futures and that simply isn't true. I know that know but didn't then
Here's what I wrote in my journal,
Starborn
Drawing out the card, 'starborn,' has turned out to be about stepping into the limelight and to let the light in, feeling inspired but that being the inspiration, This week I don't necessarily know if being special is exactly how I felt but I know I have a gift that I must curate around in my vision and share it with the world, kind of like I was part of eggs in a box and they all have their moments to come out, but this time it was all mine,
a crackling shell.
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